People should take the time to learn the difference between the following homophones - (words that sound the same but are spelled differently):

they're = they fucking are
their = fucking belongs to them
there = not fucking here
it's = it fucking is (has)
its = fucking belongs to it
you're = you fucking are
your = it fucking belongs to you
ewer = it's a fucking pitcher
pitcher = not the fucking catcher
picture = hangs on the fucking wall
dominant = how he fucking is
dominate = what he fucking does
quiet = hard to fucking hear
quite = very fucking much
discrete = fucking separate
discreet = fucking careful
discreat = is not a fucking word
to = that fucking direction
too = fucking also
two = fucking one plus one
then = not fucking now
than = compares one fucking thing to another fucking thing
Who's = who fucking is
Whose = whom it fucking belongs to
lose = you fucking misplace it
loose = not fucking tight (contained)
grate = fucking annoying
great = fucking amazing
Right = not fucking wrong
Write = with a fucking pen/pencil/email

​

​

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Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
And not afraid to admit when he's wrong.

One who thinks before he speaks,
And promises to call, not wait six weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed,
Won't lose his cool when he's gets annoyed.

He pulls out my chair, or opens the door,
Massages my back and wants to do more.
Please send me a man who'll make love 'till I'm itching,
And brings me a snack when he goes to the kitchen.

I pray that this man will love me with no end,
And would never compare me to another friend.
Thank you God in advance, now I'll wait,
For I know You will send him before it's too late.

 

 

 

42 lessons life taught me - Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old.

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 42 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it..

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

11. Its OK to let your children see you cry.

12. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it...

14 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

15. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

16. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

17. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

21. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

22. The most important sex organ is the brain.

23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

25. Always choose life.

26. Forgive but don’t forget.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does..

31. Believe in miracles.

32. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

33. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

34. Your children get only one childhood.

35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.

39. The best is yet to come...

40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

41. Yield.

42. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

 

 

 

In a world where you can be anything ...be kind. And remember, being a dick doesn't make yours any bigger.

A saying I enjoyed from another profile:
"Gay men can be like Tupperware...the bottoms are easy to find. Finding the right top is almost impossible"

 

 

FROM FACEBOOK - 

​

Hilarious!

1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.

3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.

4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.

5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.

7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.

8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.

9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.

10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"

11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.

13. I run like the winded.

14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.

15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"

16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."

19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.

20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.

21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb."

-source unknown.

 

 

FROM FACEBOOK - 

​

...A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

...When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

...The batteries were given out free of charge.

...A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

...A will is a dead giveaway.

...With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

...A boiled egg is hard to beat.

...When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

...Police were summoned to a daycare center where a 3-year-old was resisting a rest.

...Did you hear about the guy whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

...A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

...When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

...The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

...He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

...When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

...Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

And finally:

...Those who get too big for their britches will be totally exposed in the end.

 

 

 

 

This comes froms our member Raymond Smith in Texas - 

​

ADULT TRUTHS

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest or Google Maps really need to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11 You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection... again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

 

 

 

 

 

Quotes from Silverdaddies #2389173 that I found amusing:

​

Thoughts to ponder.....🤔

🤭 What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate? A liar. 🤭

😉Having sex is like playing bridge.....if you do not have a good partner you had better have a good hand!

😉 Masturbation" is such a harsh word...
I prefer "Hand-to-gland combat". 😌

😉When treated with respect, a man's penis is one of the most beautiful creations of nature. One should not be afraid to let others enjoy the beauty.

👍 I'm not sure how I feel about masturbation, but on the one hand, it feels pretty great! 👋

👍 What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates?
A tearjerker. ☺️

😊 There once was a fellow O'Doole
Who found little red spots on his tool
His Doctor a cynic said
Get out of me clinic,
And wipe off that lipstick you fool! 😊

😘 A new word for a man's private parts is his "junk." Just remember, one man's junk is another man's treasure! 🥰

😂A penis has a sad life, his hair is always a mess, his family are nuts, his neighbor is an asshole and his master beats him. At least his best friend is a pussy!

😂God gives you a penis and a brain, and only enough blood to run one at the time." - Robin Williams 😂

🤩 A guy goes to see his doctor for a physical. The doctor says, "I think you should stop masturbating." The guy says, "Really? How come?" The doctor says, "Because I'm trying to examine you." 🤩

🤔 Im capable of masturbating with either hand. I guess you can call me
😊Ambi-dicks-trous.😊

😊 Do you know what a true competitor is?
It's a guy who enters a masturbation contest and comes in first, third and ninth.😋

😃 My favorite hobbies are practical jokes and masturbation.
I'm always trying to pull a fast one.🤩

😉 Men were not so much gifted with penises as cursed with them. - Stephen King 👍

😻 What do sperm and politicians have in common?
About 1 in every 500 or 600 million have a chance at becoming human.😀

🥰 Why are male genitalia called cocks?
because they are always up in the morning😀

😀 Life is like a penis... Often hard for no reason! ☺️

😌 Benefits of increasing frequency of orgasms:
In 2004, a study by the AMA showed that men who had 21 or more orgasms per month were thirty percent less likely to develop prostate cancer than those who had fewer than 7 per month. 👍

👍👍Check this out.. Penis Quiz..fun
https://www.kinkly.com/quiz-test-your-penis-pleasure-knowledge/2/19664


The Penis Poem
By Willie Nelson. (Really!)

My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring.
But now I've got a full time job,
To find the gosh darn thing.
It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave.
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!!

Moral- use it before you lose it!

🤔Word of the day🤔
Krukolibidinous [KRUH-koh-lih-BIH-din-uhs] (adj.
🤭Describing someone who becomes aroused by looking at a guy's crotch.🫣
Know anyone like that?👍🍆🍆🥵

😉 Political opinions are like dicks. It's okay to have them, just don't shove them down people's throats. ‼️

 

 

​

​

​

 

Quotes from Silverdaddies #299955 that I found amusing:

*If we should meet offline and you look nothing like your profile pics, you're buying me drinks until you do.

*The Kamikaze of oral sex is 69. If I'm going down, you're coming with me.

*I don't drink much and I can feel it after just one drink. After three drinks I let almost anyone feel it.

*I have a sexual satisfaction warranty. If you're not completely satisfied, we'll just do it all over again. Guaranteed.

*He came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, and swallowed. When satisfied, he left and I was so hurt. That fucking mosquito.

*Men are like coffee. Best when they're strong, hot, and keep you awake all night.

*I'm not saying you're wearing too much cologne, but until you entered my home the canary was still alive.

*I need a stiff drink and a good friend. Or was that a stiff friend and a good drink!

*Life is like toilet paper. Either you're on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.

"A good date ends with dinner. A great date ends with breakfast."

"Oral sex can make your day. Anal sex can make your hole weak."

"Let's play carpenter. We'll get hammered and then you can nail me."

 

 

 

 

TVPilot's profile - (Silverdaddies.com)

​

The Penis Poem

My Nookie days are over,
what used to be my sex appeal
is now my water spout!
Time was when on its own,
from my trousers it would spring,
but now it's a full time Job
to find the f----- Thing!
It used to be embarrassing.
The way it would behave.
For every single mourning
it would stand & watch me shave!
Now as old age approaches,
it sure gives me the blues,
to see it hang its head
& watch me tie my shoes!

​

 

retlaw's profile - (Silverdaddies.com)

​

after one drink I can feel it, after two drinks anyone can feel it.

"When you're dead, you don't know you're dead.
The pain is only felt by others.
The same thing happens when you're stupid"...

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary?...

And on the Virgin Isles same thing?

Not one canary there either!

If you think you can or think you can't; you are probably right.

 

 

 

 

 

Phuckin Goofy's profile - (SilverDaddies.com)

​

Man with hand sanitizer and clorox wipes seeks mature man with toilet paper for some good clean fun.

I've had 184,000 visitors to my profile. But I'm still dateless on Saturday night.

I was fucking goofy but, we broke up.

Doctors recommend 21 orgasms a month to prevent prostate cancer.

How do you get Dick from Richard??
Ask him nicely.

I might not be much to look at, but I fuck like the government.  (this is a joke, nothing more)

I want a relationship that's a blessing, not a lesson learned.

The hand has 27 bones. 28 when I'm lonely.

Men are like parking spaces. Either they are too far away, handicapped, reserved, or already taken.

2 or 3 glasses of wine a day reduces your chances of giving a fuck by 80 percent.

My prince charming isn't riding a white horse. He riding a turtle wondering around lost someplace.

My ideal weight is George Clooney on top of me.

You know what this shirt is made of??      Boyfriend material!!

If you've ever used my pics to masturbate, I expect a Christmas present.

Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.

According to my fitness band I just masturbated 26 miles.

We were so poor when I was growing up, at Christmas time my dad would cut holes in my pockets so I would have something to play with.

I was going to stay home this weekend and watch a movie with my boy friend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend??

No fucks were given in the making of this profile.


3 rules of life.

1. If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it.

2. If you don't ask, the answer is always no.

3. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place.

​

​

​

 

These are my favorite Sex Positions:

​

http://gaysexpositions.guide/

1. Missionary: In this position, the bottom lies on his back with his legs spread apart in the air while the active partner lies on top so the couple is face-to-face. Penetration from this angle allows for intimate eye contact and kissing, and the bottom can wrap his legs around the top to anchor thrusting.

2. Doggy-Style : While potentially less intimate than missionary, doggy style allows you and your partner to explore each other in a new way. Doggy style really puts the top in control, so it's the perfect position for more dominant tops and submissive bottoms. In doggy style, the bottom gets on all fours while the top kneels behind him. Holding on to the bottom's hips for support, the top enters the bottom from behind. Penetration from this angle can feel harder and deeper for bottoms, and doggy style can be better for prostate stimulation for some men.

3. Spooning : Spooning is one of the most intimate gay sex positions. Both partners lay on their sides, the top on the outside as the "big spoon." The top enters the bottom from behind, with the bottom's top leg elevated to allow for entry. For an extra deep penetration, the top can hook his elbow under the bottom's elevated knee for easier access. This position involves a lot of close body contact, making it a great option for couples looking for an intimate and sensual sexual encounter.

4. Tantric Yab-Yum : This is the most intimate of gay sex positions and perfect for unhurried sensual lovemaking. In this position, the top sit cross-legged on the bed (or couch, or floor) and the bottom straddle the top's lap facing towards, legs wrapped around the top's lower back. As the top penetrates the bottom, and embracing each other with their nipples touching, add tantra practices like eye-gazing and in-sync breathing to heighten the love-making experience.

 

​

Reflections on turning 60

In some ways this is the best time of my life. Oh, sure, at 30 you can manage marathon sexual encounters but at 60, the pace of life softens into a sensual quietness like summer afternoons when you lie motionless on your bed and the fingers of warm sunlight reach through the window to touch your body. When you find a man who can warm you that way with his embrace, who can melt your lips slowly with his own, who will close his eyes at the light touch of your fingertips as you trace your name across his chest..when you find that man and he makes love to you, time suspends itself for that delicious instant when passion and desire dissolve into each other and you soar outside yourselves, up and beyond what seems possible. And when that moment of complete ecstasy melts into memory and you sense his presence near you again, you fall into his arms and in that blissful silence you find an absolute and profound peace.
-Je suis d'origine française (Nord-Pas-de-Calais) et je parle français.

 

​

Pets, it turns out, also have last wishes before they die.

​

Pets, it turns out, also have last wishes before they die, but only known by veterinarians who put old and sick animals to sleep. Twitter user Jesse Dietrich asked a vet what was the most difficult part of his job. The specialist answered without hesitation that it was the hardest for him to see how old or sick animals look for their owners with the eyes of their owners before going to sleep.

 

The fact is that 90 % of owners don't want to be in a room with a dying animal. People leave so they don't see their pet leave. But they don't realize that it's in these last moments of life that their pet really needs them. And Hillcrest Veterinary Clinic in South Africa has posted on their Facebook page for all people with pets.

 

Veterinarians ask the owners to be close to the animals until the very end. ′′ It's inevitable that they die before you. Don't forget that you were the center of their life. Maybe they were just a part of you. But they are also your family. No matter how hard it is, don't leave them. Dont let them die in a room with a stranger in a place they dont like. Vets are very painful to watch this. On how pets cannot find their owner in the last minutes of their life. They dont understand why he left them. After all, they needed his consolation.

 

Veterinarians do everything possible to ensure that animals are not so scared. But they are completely strangers to them. Don't be a coward who thinks it's too painful for you.

 

Think about the pet. Endure this pain for the sake of your pets. Be with them until the end.

 

​

Baruch de Spinoza was a Dutch philosopher

​

Baruch de Spinoza was a Dutch philosopher considered one of the three great rationalists of 17th-century philosophy, along with René Descartes in France, and Gottfried Leibniz in Germany.
Here's some of his wisdom:

God would have said:

Stop praying and punching yourself in the chest!

What I want you to do is go out into the world and enjoy your life. I want you to enjoy, sing, have fun and enjoy everything I've made for you.

Stop going to those dark, cold temples that you built yourself and say they are my house! My house is in the mountains, in the woods, rivers, lakes, beaches. That's where I live and there I express my love for you.

Stop blaming me for your miserable life; I never told you there was anything wrong with you or that you were a sinner, or that your sexuality was a bad thing! Sex is a gift I have given you and with which you can express your love, your ecstasy, your joy. So don't blame me for everything they made you believe.

Stop reading alleged sacred scriptures that have nothing to do with me. If you can't read me in a sunrise, in a landscape, in the look of your friends, in your son's eyes... you will find me in no book! Trust me and stop asking me. Would you tell me how to do my job?
Stop being so scared of me. I do not judge you or criticize you, nor get angry, or seek to punish you. I am pure love.

Stop asking for forgiveness, there's nothing to forgive. If I made you... I filled you with passions, limitations, pleasures, feelings, needs, inconsistencies... free will. How can I blame you if you respond to something I put in you? How can I punish you for being the way you are, if I'm the one who made you? Do you think I could create a place to burn all my children who behave badly for the rest of eternity? What kind of God would do that?

Forget any kind of commandments, any kind of laws; those are wiles to manipulate you, to control you, that only create guilt in you.

Respect your peers and don't do what you don't want for yourself. All I ask is that you pay attention in your life, that your consciousness is your guide.

My beloved, this life is not a test, not a step, not a rehearsal, nor a prelude to paradise. This life is the only thing that exists here and now, and it is all you need.

I have set you absolutely free, no prizes or punishments, no sins or virtues... no one carries a marker, no one keeps a record.

You are absolutely free to create in your life heaven or hell.

I could tell you if there's anything after this life, but I won't... but I can give you a tip. Live as if there is nothing after... as if this is your only chance to enjoy, to love, to exist.

So, if there's nothing, then you will have enjoyed the opportunity I gave you. And if there is, rest assured that I won't ask if you behaved right or wrong, I'll ask. Did you like it? Did you have fun? What did you enjoy the most? What did you learn?...

Stop believing in me; believing is assuming, guessing, imagining. I don't want you to believe in me... I want you to feel me in you when you kiss your beloved, when you tuck in your little girl, when you caress your dog, when you bathe in the sea.

Stop praising me, what kind of egomaniac God do you think I am?
I'm bored being praised, I'm tired of being thanked. Feeling grateful? Prove it by taking care of yourself, your health, your relationships, the world. Express your joy!... that's the way to praise me.
 

Stop complicating things and repeating as a parakeet what you've been taught about me.
The only thing for sure is that you are here, that you are alive, and that this world is full of wonders.
What do you need more miracles for? Why so many explanations?

Look for me outside... you won't find me. Find me inside... there I am beating within you.
Spinoza.

 

​

Legal mumbo jumbo:
Apply only to affected area.

If condition persists, consult your physician.

Subject to change without notice.

Some assembly required.

Use only as directed.

No purchase necessary.

Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. No other warranty expressed or implied.

This product is meant for educational purposes only.

Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

Void where prohibited by law.

Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accidental damage, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God.

Other restrictions may apply.

Any rebroadcast, reproduction, or other use of the pictures and accounts of this game without the express written consent of Major League Baseball is strictly prohibited.

Batteries not included.

This supersedes all previous notices.*

 

​

Old Farmer's Advice: 

​

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered... not yelled.

Meanness don't just happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about, ain't never gonna happen anyway.

Don't judge folks by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good and honorable life, then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

Don't interfere with something' that ain't bothering you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every morning'.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

If you get to thinking' you're a person of some influence, try ordering' somebody else's dog around.

Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, and enjoy the ride.

Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just shoot you!
 

​

7 Benefits of sex with older men

1. Older men come slower - if you want a long, slow suck here's where to find what you want.
2. Older men are more sensuous - they've spent a lifetime of loving other people and are well prepared to show you what they've learned.
3. Older men are more patient - they've seen it all - they've done it all and they're more likely to be patient with newbie's and the curious.
4. Older men are more considerate - they've had a few failures in their lifetime and are more considerate and understanding when you have one.
5. Older men are less critical - they know from experience that good looks doesn't guarantee great performances and that sometimes good things come in small packages.
6. Older men's lips feel just as good around a cock as young lips - but over the years they've learned ways to enhance that feeling with a few tricks.
7. Older men know how to be discreet. They don't kiss and tell their friends because they'd like to keep you to themselves.
 

A penis has a sad life!
His hair is a mess or bald...
His family is nuts..
His neighbor is an asshole...
And his owner beats him!

 

​

Albolene Forever - (thanks to my friend Las Vegas John)

​

Let me tell you, Albolene is absolutely, by far, the BEST masturbation lube ever! I've been ruined by it ! I've been using it for about a year, and I just can't wait for the next session. What makes it best is it's super slippery, lasts forever, NO ODOR WHATSOEVER (no evidence for us married guys), never dries out, wipes off easy. For we circumcised guys, the lubricated intensity of gliding over the head is uncomparable. Albolene keeps your penis from getting irritated from friction like in long dry masterbating sessions, and keeps it soft and moist - which is important with the head to keep it sensitive as possible. A jar lasts forever, really. You gotta try it.

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For those who worried about finding this in stores (i.e., geography), try internet shopping. I've found good/decent prices at www.drugstore.com, as well as www.nextag.com. Simply put the brand name (Albolene) into the item search. Once it arrives... slick up, and stroke away...

 

Albolene is our (solitary) friend. I'm ambidextrous: my right hand, the one I learned with, is my 'dry' hand. My left hand is my 'wet' hand, and Albolene is the most cost-effective lubrication available. If you're made of money, some of those silicone-based lubricants are extremely effective, but Albolene For solo action, there's nothing better.

 

It took me awhile before I was able to find a jar of albolene at a local Wallgreens store here in the Midwest, but since the purchase I can tell you it is the best lube that I have ever used. I didn't realize that there was no flavor or I should say taste to it, so that opens a whole new way that I can use it. Maybe I will add a little flavoring and have a marketable new lube. When I first applied it I thought that it was going to be just like vasoline, but boy was I mistaken. It feels great and the clean up can be done with just a towel or a pair of panties if that happens to be what turns you on. I really don't think that the price is that bad at all since it takes very little to give you a lubrication you will never forget. K Y costs a lot more than Albolene does if you look as the amount it takes to get the job done. It was well worth the effort to keep searching until I found it. Also if it is found be somebody you can always say it is some of the best handcream that you have ever found for rough hands,especially since there is no smell to it. I keep it handy all the time and no one really knows that I use it for my lube rather than - my favorite masturbation lube.

 

Abolene is the best there is, and yes, it is available in the Northwest. The nice thing about it is that when used in the anus, fecal material will not adhere to it. Very clean. The only downside seems to be that in a hot water like a bath, it will coat the tub and take a lot of cleanser to get off the surface.

 

For those concerned about condoms and oil-based lubes such as Albolene, the solution is to use Avanti condoms, made by Durex. These are made of polyurathane, not latex, and are completely oil safe. Note that Trojan Supra is also made of polyurathane; however my experience (two different occasions, with two different packages purchased at different locations) is that they are subject to breakage. Never any problem with Avanti, however.

 

I use Albolene all the time to masturbate. A little goes a long way so it is very economical. If you wait for the sales in Walgreen's you can get individual jars for about ten dollars. That jar will last you a long time. Also if you really like to masturbate, you can buy it by the case and get each jar for about eight dollars. Now for my favorite masturbate technique. I go to a nude beach in Santa Cruz, CA in a private area surrounded by stones and tree branches. The sand is so warm. I lay a blanket on the sand and then I take my knee and force a shallow depression in the blanket. I take a dry cleaner plastic bag, (when you get your suit dry cleaned) and lay that on top of the depression. You can fill the depression with mineral oil or just cover your penis with Albolene and lay your penis in the puddle of oil. While laying there you can gather some sand under the blanket to form a woman's breasts. Also with your toes you can dig holes in the sand for your feet to fit into so you are laying nice and flat on the warm blanket and sand. I get a good magazine to look at and I masturbate for hours while reading the magazine. It is so much fun.

 

Albolene, 60 years ago was known as THEATRICAL COLD CREAM and is basically just solidified mineral oil. It was great for removing stage make up and then at the age of 16 discovered its other uses. It is also great for giving massages as it stays on the skin and then when you take a shower, you will feel all smooth all over. It's best feature is that that ever you are doing, if you change your mind, it has no taste. I've taken care of a lot of teen age boys and always gave them their own jar of the best masturbation cream in the world, and they all took it when they left. It also opened conversations between us when they realized that I realized that all teenagers masturbate, so they have a ball. And the more they know it's OK to grunt and make vocal noises during and at the point of climax, do they suddenly know how great that realize can be. However it will dissolve a Condom, so don't use it there.

 

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